Irishsurfcore's Blog

At the core of Irish surf since 09

Can you Canoe?

with 34 comments

Unknown charger styling while stunned surfer looks on in awe.

Unknown charger styling while stunned surfer looks on in awe.

A wave canoeist was reportedly seen turning and going left at an undisclosed wave in ireland today. According to eye witness reports he managed to get his whole wave riding craft at a sidaeways angle. “It completely blew my mind”, frothed  one stunned surfer who wishes to remain unnamed,  “he somehow managed to dig his whole paddle into the water while at the same time sliding out the tail of the canoe. I mean he nearly made it round the section for christsakes. This has completely changed my approach to wave-riding. I learnt more in the half hour watching this guy than I have in twenty years of surfing. To see something so functional while at the same time so beautiful really made my question my choice of equipment”.

The wave canoe is, as we all know, the oldest form of wave riding beating those puny hawaiians by millenia. Peruvians were tearing up the longest lefts in the world since B.C. and showing the world what could be done on a wave and a paddle. In fact most moves and aerials in modern surfing can be linked to canoes. So remember next time you see an analist canoeist at your spot show some respect, they have been there before you!

Peruvian caballito de totora ( transalted literally to mean arse sliders )

Peruvian caballito de totora ( transalated literally it means "arse sliders" )

However, its not just stylish turns and floaters that form the repetoire of a modern wave canoeists approach. There is also a core group of hellmen in canoes leading the way and setting the standards of what is possible to tow-in to at slabs such as Rileys these days. Smith reckons they charge deeper and harder than “just about anyone I’ve ever seen on a wave”.

So, take this as a word of advice: next time you are dropping in on some bum-surfer and pulling a straight hander, and generally getting in everybodies way out there, he could have been able to have turned and set his rail canoe and gone sideways. Well at least for a bit anyways..

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Written by irishsurfcore

September 24, 2009 at 9:27 pm

Posted in surf news

Tagged with , , , , , ,

34 Responses

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  1. Whats the worst thing about being a kayaker? Telling your parents your gay!!!

    You are gay

    September 25, 2009 at 11:11 am

  2. what a dick that guy is! he must be a ass fucking surfer

    Anonymous

    September 25, 2009 at 11:28 am

  3. What’s the worst bit about being a surfer?

    Shitting blood every morning after engaging in violent anal sex with your parents every night

    I’d like to see you huck a 30ft drop with your piece of shit fibreglass plank

    Surfers suck my balls

    September 25, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    • do you shit in your canoe often?

      irishsurfcore

      September 25, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    • is it the way that you have a dildo strapped to your arse eh? or do you always sound so anal…. BOLO!

      surfer

      October 9, 2009 at 9:02 am

  4. HAHA,
    Brilliant.
    Some good argy bargy going on 🙂
    I found it rather entertaining, and the comments even more so.

    PaddleSurfer

    September 25, 2009 at 12:54 pm

  5. Hahaha… I think it’s funny. If I wrote a piece from a paddler’s perspective would you put it up? 🙂

    paddling girl

    September 25, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    • Sure why dont you send it in to us paddlegirl… and a nice pic too of course

      irishsurfcore

      September 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm

  6. Great stuff, plank riders.

    “The wave canoe is, as we all know, the oldest form of wave riding beating those puny hawaiians by millenia. Peruvians were tearing up the longest lefts in the world since B.C. and showing the world what could be done on a wave and a paddle. In fact most moves and aerials in modern surfing can be linked to canoes.”

    Good to hear you guys concede that we were here first. Locals only! Sling yer hook, boardie boy…

    Jim.

    Jim Kennedy

    September 25, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    • Well Jim if it isnt the canoecore of west cork.fair play

      irishsurfcore

      September 25, 2009 at 4:04 pm

  7. ye should put some of ur efforts into teaching most of the new “cool” gang that like to clog up waves some etiquette on how to be polite to locals who paddled these waves long before they knew what a surf board was..lets get out our sex wax for a rub and tug session!!

    Anonymous

    September 25, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    • ehhhh, no.

      irishsurfcore

      September 25, 2009 at 4:09 pm

  8. Wow you guys are like 5 year olds; “My mom’s better than your mom..wah wah wha…”

    Good work dissing a sport you don’t know anything about! Most of you probably have never even hear of freestyle kayaking, here is an example:

    kayaker

    September 26, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    • thats retarded

      Anonymous

      November 5, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    • so you bounce around on your ass…so do most gays on a saturday night!!!

      better_then_a_kayak

      December 19, 2011 at 8:29 pm

  9. laughing my ass off at that video looks like he has tourettes with those spasms..

    surfer

    September 26, 2009 at 1:59 pm

  10. Haa good work! Keep it up!

    Chewy

    September 26, 2009 at 8:48 pm

  11. we were here way before surfers. i should know i’m a 3000 year old peruvian arse hole slider. by the way that video of that guy being bounced around by a rapid was super cool. thanks for showing me the light. ass.

    manbearpig

    September 28, 2009 at 2:07 pm

  12. Technique is everything, style is nothing. Who needs co-ordination when you can be bounced around the place wearing a big yellow lifejacket and have a cool helmet and practice in germany with the rest uberkids who can also bob around like a therapy session in lota. It’s like water polio when you pump up their wheels too much. Way more interesting than synchronised swimming. I can see this taking over in mongolia. Preaching the love of the ocean in such places as switzerland, bolivia and offaly. By christ it’s shit and the people who defend this lapsy drowning are bigger tools. We’re in the surfing brotherhood together. Faggots. Why don’t you sit in your paddle boat thing and we can stand around kicking the shit out of ya and throwing the occasional bucket of piss over yez and call it extreme. Pure gammy

    manbearsquid

    September 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

  13. Here boys why can’t we all share the waves and be mellow. We’re all surf brethen, we should be fighting poverty.

    Anonymous

    September 28, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  14. Mmmm, the ironing is delicious.

    JK

    September 28, 2009 at 7:09 pm

  15. It’s great how skill just doesn’t come into it at all isn’t it? I mean, if you’re a goatboater without the skill that surfers claim it doesn’t take you can see surfers as what they are; speedbumps. Next time the ass-sliders are out demonstrating their complete lack of skill you should get out of the way cos they just can’t control themselves….. And if a kayaker does manage to get some tiny skill level, sure then you can just see it as aquatic ten-pin bowling; take aim, clobber – then shrug your shoulders and say sorry sure aren’t we just a bunch of telly-tubbies with zero skill, crossed eyes, gay helmets, silly oar things and aeroboard taped to their chest. I mean really – how could you blame such a skill-deprived ape?

    P.S. top tip to kayakers; if you do hit a surfer and he stops moving and is face down in the water, don’t laugh; put your REC course to good use and turn them over before you paddle away looking like a spastic fucking a doorknob. Yeah – I said it – a spastic…but alive…

    FKFace

    September 29, 2009 at 6:52 am

  16. funny piece from the ironing board rider, but some of the commentators are taking things a bit seriously. And i thought surfers were cool…

    chillax

    October 1, 2009 at 3:09 pm

  17. Jesus guys you sound like the stero typical dumd ass wanker surfers. Cop on you numptys.

    Anonymous

    October 2, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    • You sound like a five year old who can’t spell…

      irishsurfcore

      October 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm

  18. I can spell. Onomatopoeia. Check it. And i am balls enough to make up a name to hide behind instead of being “anonymous”. As if anyone is taking this seriously. Censorship is the first step of fashionism. ask sexy “paris” hitler.

    manbearsquidpig

    October 4, 2009 at 11:54 pm

  19. Fuck you boardy pricks…. Get into a kayak and see how long you last on a wave… You swim under oncoming waves… We take them head on… You stans up… We sit down.. We win when we hit you head on except for the wee dints you leave in the bow of the boat…

    KayakJoe

    October 10, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    • what the be jesus are you on about boy..i do both sports (I KEEP MY KAYAK FOR PUMPING RIVERS WERE IT BELONGS,RESPECT TO pumping RIVER CHARGERS!) any fool in in a kayak who dosent understand the hardship of managing to stand up and not alone surf but to surf with style… the same dudes who sit on the main peak at your favourite spot , hoggin all the waves!! well show them no mercy.. give no respect , get no respect!

      Anonymous

      October 17, 2009 at 10:17 am

  20. all this kayaker bashing. my bet is that half the people posting this grabage are rich south dubliners who like nothing better then standing on a beach beside their VW Golf in there brand new O’Neil wetsuits afraid to get their feet wet.

    if your all such pro-surfers you should probably be surfing and not shooting your mouths off.

    i know most of you cant help it. being an asshole is someting your born as but by the looks of these posts you’ve all worked very hard at it too. well done.

    Neutral observer

    October 12, 2009 at 2:50 pm

  21. fucking eejits dont know a joke if it slapped yee on your fuckin heads…. parody … fuckwits

    furty

    October 14, 2009 at 12:04 am

  22. GAFFA TANGI… ESSA. FAFFA EH BOLO

    BOLO BOLO

    October 17, 2009 at 10:19 am

  23. what do we want? ………..KAYAKERS OUT!!
    when do we want it? ……..NOW!!

    surfer

    October 19, 2009 at 11:00 am

  24. Wow! I thought that Canoeing was for people who can’t stand up because of some disability… You learn something new everyday. Can one of the Canoe experts please explain how getting pushed along totally out of control is fun? Where do I sign up? Will it be the last time I get laid if I am seen in a Canoe? Anyway I think it looks more stylish to be a canoeist, yeah man surfing is overrated.

    The sea Wolf

    November 5, 2009 at 10:02 am

  25. “”laughing my ass off at that video looks like he has tourettes with those spasms..””

    Fucking hilarious, only managed to stop laughing now, Ye canoists take yerselves awfully seroiusly!!

    Arshe Schlider

    December 4, 2009 at 2:17 pm


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