Slaboratoire Garnier!

Unnamed slab goes off. Slabtastic

Irish surfing is, like a traveller in the midst of a family feud,  going new places. By new places i mean slabs. Slabs are the new waves, and if you are still riding ‘normal’ waves this article should serve as a wake up call to  get out there and charge.

All the cool kids have given up the now cliché’d approach to what was once called “surfing”, and instead have branched off to “charge slabs” instead.  Waves are so passé you might as well just give up if you still “surf” and think roundhouse cutbacks are the shit. But we here at IrishSurfCore are here to help you stay at the forefront of modern irish surfing with some easy to follow guidelines that will ensure you mantain a high CoreScore.

A little bit shit really....

1. Get out there and search some slab…

So sick on its day...

On a recent search I spotted at least 15 slab setups in a halfmile of coastline. Perhaps there were no waves there at the time but the potential is unreal if the ideal wind and swell conditions ever meet that is. Once you have found some slabs like me, you have to come up with a cool sounding name for them. Here are some examples of my slabs names: ” LittleJoePoo” ,  ”Rheumatoids”, but if you are a purist you’ll want to keep your spot underground and under wraps so you should probably just call it ‘”The Slab”, as in, “yeah me and a mate scored the slab the other day, four foot and pumpin”.

2. Got Equipment?

Polish man and his jetski

Unridden virgin slabs abound on our coastline, just waiting for the brave irish surfer to remove her chastity belt and have a blast. For this you’ll need a jetski and a tow partner you can trust with your wife life, because you can’t actually paddle into one of these things and expect to make it you idiot , especially if the slab you found is basically a huge closeout onto dry reef below a fortyfootcliff with nobody around for hundreds of miles. If your “slab” doesn’t meet this criteria it probably is just a wave you pussy, so go grow a pair…

3. Personal Photographer

''Oh yeah baby, work that slab"

If you haven’t got one of these, again you should probably just give up. I have two photogs who follow my every move, documenting my slab hunting exploits, we are just waiting for the ideal wind and swell conditions to coincide and then its going to be a veritable slabfest out there!!

So fellow slabhunters I hope this advice helps  you charge  some slab . And remember if you aren’t willling to smash your coccyx  into a thousand tiny pieces you havent got what it takes to be pro.